The day I was released...

I spent a lot of time with her today. I talked with her and just watched her. We talked to the doctor and I said "She's having a good day." He corrected me and said "A good few days." That made me smile big. Some good news was the little boy beside her who was 1.2lbs was going home. I got a big smile on my face and said we can do this Emily! 4 months. That won't take that long at all.

I was so excited to get out of the hospital that I didn't think how I would feel about leaving our baby girl behind. I knew I would be sad but not this sad.

I was okay because I was so excited to pick Caleb up from school. We got home. I unpacked while Josh gave Caleb a bath and put him to bed. I then broke down. I miss her. I can't believe I left. Josh keeps reassuring me that there is someone right beside her 24hrs a day. To me that's not enough. Her mommy should be there right beside her. I have called 3 times since 8pm. They reassure me that she is doing great and relaxed. Her gas was good, so they made another wein down of her pip. (Sorry if I don't spell certain terms right. I am still in the process of looking the correct terms up.)

I am still trying to figure out how i am going to juggle Caleb and not driving and getting to see her when Josh goes back to work Monday. Tomorrow we have a home visiting nurse coming to check on me. We have a lot to do to get our house ready for her. We have to get a move on this and get her room ready. She WILL be home soon enough.

Now how do I relax and fall asleep knowing she downtown far away from me...